Here and there

The most recent Baby Einstein DVD I loaned from the library is Baby's First Signs. Austin LOVES it because there are so many human faces on it. Today I caught a few of his expressions as he watched it. I know I'm hopelessly smitten by him, but just humor me and click on these pictures to get a better view of his cute expressions.

Today Anthony traveled to Philly to compete in Guitar Center's district level of their King of the Blues competition. He will be sleeping at our Lititz house tonight. He joked this morning that if he wins he'll sleep in our king size bed, if he loses he'll sleep on the floor. Ha, ha!! He called this evening to say that someone else did win tonight, but I told him he can still sleep in the king size bed!

My dear dad continues to linger in his sick, earthly body. Mary Ellen said that he only takes drops of water by spoon and there is no recognition in his eyes any longer. Family members are taking turns being there around the clock. Everyone is wearing down. Our hearts are just crying, crying, crying for the Lord to take him Home, where he can once again be the man full of life and love that he always was.

I will be heading to Lancaster County tomorrow. It turns out that Lori had already planned a day for her students to do independent work on Friday instead of class, so she doesn't have to go. And I have a hair appointment scheduled tomorrow evening at my regular hair dresser, which I assumed I would need to cancel, but now I can keep it. (GREAT BIG SIGH OF RELIEF.) If my dad is still living, I will take my turn to stay overnight tomorrow night and for the daytime on Friday.

Guy fun

Austin loves "rough housing" with his daddy - being put up in the air, held upside down, belly tickled, etc. That's actually pretty funny, because Anthony always hated that kind of play when he was a kid.

Dick had his last chemo treatment in this maintenance schedule. In six months he'll have four more, then hopefully that will be it. Looks like Austin has to check him out. Are his ears okay?

And how about Grandpa's hair - any head lice?? There's no end to the fun we have with this little guy. I definitely think he's trying to sing with me sometimes!

My dad had times of being more lucid and aware today. One time he thought he hadn't seen my stepmother for a while, and he wondered if she had been out with the ladies! He also noticed buzzards flying outside his sun room. I am amazed. With the way he was yesterday, I would never have imagined he would say or see anything again. I feel sorry to have missed being there for those moments today.

Lingering

Well, I'm back home in State College. When I left Friday afternoon I surely did not expect my dad to live through the weekend.

The weekend was one of intense emotion. It was hard to believe the change in my dad from the weekend before. He was basically comatose, with occasional times of being lucid and aware. One such time was when Mary Ellen and I sat on either side of him Friday evening and started to sing, "It Is Well With My Soul." He started to sing along!!!! My stepmother heard him and came into the sun room asking incredulously, "Is he singing??" He sang the whole way through the first verse with us, then seemed to slip back into unconsciousness.

I had a sweet time of singing a number of hymns with Jeremy as we sat by his side. Earlier on Friday when Jeremy had sung "Amazing Grace', my dad wept.

Also on Friday evening my brother in law Scott from New Hampshire called me as he drove home from work. He wanted to express his last words of appreciation to my dad, so we put my phone on speaker phone and held it by Dad's ear as Scott talked. We all wept. Afterward my dad made it very obvious that he understood who had been talking and he was tremendously touched.

Then my sister Betty (Scott's wife) called and we did the same thing, only now my dad insisted on holding my phone himself. Betty and her children, Merida and Isaiah, poured out their hearts to him and cried. Again we all cried. Then my dad held the phone to his mouth and said in his slurred way, "I love you so much, I love you so much, I love you so much."

We decided to call my sisters Rose and Barb and give them the same opportunity. Again each of them expressed their love and appreciation to him with tears, and again he told them by name that he loved them.

Saturday was much the same. Family members came and went. My late sister Janet's husband, Elvin, and his wife Pauline were there Saturday afternoon and I got this picture of them. Pauline lost her first husband to cancer and is a wonderfully compassionate friend to my stepmother.

Saturday evening a lot of us went to Mary Ellen's house for a drop - in party. Long before we knew what our dad's situation would be at this time, Mary Ellen's step daughter and family from Jacksonville planned a visit to Mary Ellen this weekend. We had not seen Kim for years, and had never met her husband and baby. So we had a great time there. I think we all needed a chance to laugh. (Unfortunately I had left my camera at my dad's.) I felt physically and emotionally exhausted till the day was over.

Sunday morning I was scheduled to lead worship for the first time in four weeks. I was tired, but it felt good to be at the piano and with the worship team and our church family. It was also special to have Jeremy there, as well as Sam and his friend Jennifer. We hung out at home in the afternoon, then spent a few hours at my dad's again. He had declined even further and there seemed to be no moments of joy. He did not seem to be aware of anything at all, and we cried and prayed that God would please take him home.

Dick left from there to return to State College. He is having his fourth and last chemo treatment today. I took Destiny home to Reading, came back to my dad's to get Jeremy and to see my dad one more time, went home completely exhausted, and spent some time getting my house in order.

I left at 7 Am to come back home to State College, just in time before Lori left for work. Seeing Austin was good medicine for my aching soul.

Today Jeremy is at my dad's working on a Power Point presentation of pictures and music that will be showing during the viewing. He is scheduled to go back to Florida tomorrow. We didn't think that would happen, but I guess it will. He will have to make a second trip to PA before long.

I know God is a compassionate Heavenly Father - my dad has always drilled that into my head and heart. But I admit I wonder why He is letting my dad linger in this condition for so long. How long, Lord, how long?

Leaving

I am about to leave for Lancaster County again. My dad seems to be gradually leaving this earth. When will it be? Today Jeremy is there. He said he sang "Amazing Grace" for Grandpa. I wish I could have been there.

Dad has been having much more pain, so we are ready to let him go. What a time that will be when he gets there.

Learning new tricks

Austin is, by nature, a content, easy-going, happy baby - very easy and delightful to care for. Occasionally he still enjoys sitting in this little seat and sucking on his toes! But in the last week or two he's been discovering that he can reach other things if he twists and turns and pulls.

In his crib he no longer just rolls over onto his back when he wakes up and talks to the animals on the wall. Now he's pulling the bumper down and hanging onto the bars, trying to see around the rest of the room. Time to put the mattress lower before he figures out how to pull himself up.

He has also figured out the "army crawl" when he's on the floor, much to his delight. Time to start baby-proofing.

He also got his first tooth in the last week, but I can't show you a picture of it. He won't even let us see it, except by accident.

It's looking like Fall on our culdesac. But it felt a whole lot more like summer today - very warm and muggy.

My life is very full of many varied experiences and emotions. There is so much joy every day as I care for Austin. Also, every day there are email updates about my dad from family members who have been there. We all cry for many reasons - that he is weakening and uncomfortable and in pain and still lingering. But also because we know that one of these days he will enter into the presence of the Lord, which will mean that we will not see him again until we go there too. Both realities seem almost too hard to bear many times. We need your prayers as we come to your minds.

Jeremy will be coming up from Florida tomorrow until Tuesday morning. He wishes he could be with Grandpa when he passes from this earth to Glory. So do I. We all do, especially my stepmother. God is in control and we are trusting His wisdom and mercy.

Scenes from the deck

My weekend

On Friday I took these pictures of Austin, but didn't have time to post them before I left for the weekend. This is the buggy he rides in when I take him for a walk almost every day.

He just sits in there and chills! Click on the picture to get a better look at that sweet, little face.

Friday evening I drove to Lancaster County, picking Destiny up in Reading first. We spent most of Saturday at my Dad's house. Destiny loves being there. She helped me to rake up grass clippings, then she helped Great Grandma pick some of her beans. It was such a lovely day.

Yes, Witmer family, Grandma did grow some beans after all! You may remember that earlier in the summer the rabbits kept eating all the stalks and she was threatening to shoot them! But she got crafty and put up all kinds of barriers, as you can see above, and now just look at these beautiful beans!

While I was there on Saturday I helped to bathe and dress my dad, to position him in his bed or his chair. At one point we sat together on the deck and enjoyed just looking at nature. We tried to sing a verse of the song "This Is My Father's World", but we couldn't remember all the words. Then some neighbors stopped in, and soon after that some old friends of theirs. The visitors were the quick-witted and humorous kind, and it was fun to see that Dad still had some good come-backs and humor. He really enjoyed their visit, even though he had to be in his bed for some of the time.

Golf cart rides

The golf cart is a big favorite for any children that visit my parents. Destiny got several rides on it yesterday - with my step mother to take grass clippings to the place they dispose of them, and later to the mailbox. Soon after Mary Ellen arrived it was time to go to the community hall to pick up the meals that had been ordered. Mary Ellen had never driven it before, but decided that if my stepmother could, so could she! Actually, Destiny had already driven it the other weekend, under my brother-in-law, Scott's, supervision!

Destiny also enjoyed riding her bike on the nice, wide street.

Before I left my parents' place around 6:30, I had a sweet time of prayer with them. Every time I kiss him good by I wonder if it's my last time. His health and strength has declined so rapidly in the past month, it's hard to believe. As his discomfort increases, so do the meds. With that comes more sleepiness and some confusion. So every moment he's awake and comfortable is a moment to seize and cling to and remember.

My sweet stepmother has six wonderful sons who live in the same general area as my parents. I have three siblings that still live in that area. Those nine people, plus myself on the weekends, plus a few Hospice aids, plus a home health aide we are hiring five nights a week, are taking turns being at my parents' house around the clock, day after day, week after week. His care is too much for my stepmother to do alone. My sister Mary Ellen makes up an hour by hour schedule every week. We all communicate by email to let her know when we are available, and somehow it always works out. We all, including my three siblings who live far away, dearly love our parents. And those of us who get the chance to help take care of Dad honestly consider it an honor and a privilege. His grateful spirit is still very alive and well.

I returned to State College this afternoon and had some serious discussions with the Lord as I drove. There are many things pulling on my heartstrings.

Today was Anthony's 33rd birthday. What wonderful memories Dick and I have of the day he was born - at 9:20 AM on 9/20!! This evening he and Lori went out to dinner and a movie while Dick and I kept Austin. After they came home we had a delicious Carvel ice cream cake.

We love you and thank God for you, Anthony. What a blessing you have been to us.

Another weekend in Lancaster

I'm off to Lancaster again for a quick weekend. No rain to drive in this time, thank you, Lord.

I just heard that my Uncle Norman who had the stroke a few days ago, passed away this afternoon. Unbelievable. My mother's whole family has been keeping in touch with my dad's situation, and now, suddenly, Norman has gone to Heaven first. My cousin, Joanne, (Norman's daughter), has a blog. Feel free to go there to give her your words of support and sympathy.

This picture was just taken on Labor Day when Joanne's family was together for a cook-out.

Norman's wife (Joanne's mother) is my mother's sister. I have always loved seeing her and pictures of her on Joanne's blog, because it made me feel like I was seeing my mother. I wonder what Mother would have looked like in her older years.

Our sick little boy

We've had a sick little boy this week. On Tuesday morning when he woke up he had a very stuffy, runny nose. They took him along on their trip to Cleveland, but when they got home last night they said he had really developed a cough as well.

Today that cough developed into a wheezing chest, which can be quite scary. Lori called the doctor late this afternoon, and he told them to take him to the ER. After spending a lot of time there, as is usually the case, he was given a Nebulizer treatment and a steroid, or something like that. Hopefully he'll soon feel all better. He's still the sweetest bundle of love, even when he's sick.

Our family is continuing to need to depend on the Lord's strength and mercy these days - for my dad as he becomes weaker and more eager for his "home-going", for my niece Lori who had surgery again yesterday to repair a tear that occurred since her previous surgery last spring, for my Uncle Norman, who just suffered a massive stroke two days ago and is not expected to recover, for physical strength for the family members who are helping to care for my dad, and for emotional strength for all of us, including our children, who are struggling with what is to come. Christ has taken away the sting of death, yes. But the grief from the loss of and separation from someone so dearly loved is still very, very real.

A day of weeding and now a tour

Anthony, Lori, and Austin traveled to Cleveland yesterday and will return tonight. Lori was doing a workshop at a conference today. So without a baby to care for, what was I going to do? I decided a few weeks ago that I would take this opportunity to work outside in the flower beds, the many, many flower beds. The weather could not have been more perfect for working outside. When I was finished (actually, there's much more to do, but it will have to wait for another day) I took some pictures. Now I want to take you on a tour.

Here's a view of the back yard taken from the driveway. Let's go down the steps.

These are the steps we just came down.

There is a pool in the back yard (not open this year) with landscaping all around the fence. That's where I spent most of my efforts today, attacking the wild things that would love to take over. Let's take a walk around the pool.

Getting vicious!

I was getting vicious by the time I got to this area. I got out the big, old pruning thing and cut out a bunch of weeds that thought they were going to get the chance to become trees.

Ah, just imagine that that is pool water instead of a green cover. We used to have such fun in this pool, even though the water was always a bit too cool for my comfort. I hope the repairs can be done and the pool can again be usable till another year.

Here's the fence along one side of the yard, and yes - more flower beds!

Austin's Arbor

At one end of the yard are these huge bushes. I don't know what they are. I think Dick trimmed them the first week he lived here in July, but it looks like they need to be trimmed again. But look what I discovered behind them....

.... this fun, little hideaway! It reminded me of my friend Cheryl's area of her yard called Wyatt's Run, which they made for their grandson to ride through. Hmmm. I think we will call this area Austin's Arbor.

Now come with me to the front of the house. Yes, more flower beds! This house is a small rancher, but we are making good use of every square inch. That big front window and door are to the living room, which is now open to the kitchen behind it. Under the living room is the family room, and the laundry room is under the kitchen.

The first window on this picture is to Austin's room, and the next one is to Lori's office. Our bedroom/office is directly under these two rooms. Anthony and Lori's bedroom and bathroom are across the hall from Austin's room and Lori's office. Under their bedroom and bathroom are our bathroom and Anthony's studio. So there you have it!! Small, but space for everyone, even plenty of room to keep our separate lives. We absolutely love it here.

I think the neighbor man was hitting on me this afternoon, ha, ha, ha!! In this community of culdesacs and streets, there are many back yards backed up to each other with fences between. Often when I'm out on the deck with Austin I hear a dog barking and a man yelling at it. I have never been quite sure which yard it comes from.

Well, today that dog and that man were at it the whole time I was working outside. I noticed which yard it was coming from, but tried to ignore it. The man was working outside as well. When I was finished and decided to take pictures, I noticed the man come sauntering toward the fence drinking a glass of wine. He said hi and I said hello, but kept on taking pictures. Then he wondered if I live here. I told him I'm Anthony's mom, but he said he only ever saw the couple that lives here one time, and he thought they must have moved. He kept fishing for information, but I tried to be vague without being rude. He said the yard looks really good since I live here and wondered if I'm a gardener. What a hoot!!!! He even told me his name is Jerry and wondered what my name is. I told him I'm Jean and my husband is Richard. I wanted to make sure he knew I have a husband. Next time I hear him yelling at his dog, I'm going to yell, "Hey, Jerry, can you keep it down a little???"