Remembering Jay

On Wednesday we drove to Lancaster County for the funeral of our friend Jay Nissley.  As I have said before, our lives have intertwined with Jay and Elta's our entire lives.  I want to write this post and share a great variety of pictures in memory of Jay.  Many hundreds of people came to express their love for him and his family this week.  I was told that on Tuesday evening the viewing and family visitation lasted six hours as 700-some people came and went.  On Wednesday the large Erisman Mennonite Church near Manheim was filled to capacity for the service.  That speaks volumes.  He was a farmer and a pastor of a small church.  But he and Elta have had true servants' hearts and have touched many, many lives with their tireless kindness and giving.

When Dick was growing up, he and Jay were neighbor boys.  Their parents were good friends.  When I was growing up, Elta and I went to church together when we were young children and eventually were in the same youth group.  As teens, we all sang in Manheim Area Chorus.  The guys in the chorus called themselves The Moose Gang, for whatever reason, and we girls called ourselves the Moosettes.  Can you believe it??  But we had tons of fun together back in those days.  Here's a picture taken around the dining room table at my home.  Jay is second from right on the far side of the table.  Dick and I are at the end of the table, and it looks like he was holding my little sister Rose.

Dick and I got married in October 1971, Jay's brother John got married to my good friend Elaine a month later,  Dick's brother Bob got married to Elta's good friend Doris after a few months,  and finally  Jay and Elta got married.  The pairing off of the Mooses and the Moosettes, hahahaha!  Here are Jay and Elta, cute as can be. 

As young families we and Jay and Elta went to the same church, Kauffman Mennonite.  They had a son Kirby near Anthony's age.  I don't seem to have any pictures of them from those  years.  All my pictures are of our children or family gatherings.  I guess we didn't snap lots of pictures when we had to pay to develop everything we took, right?

I remember being impressed with Jay's passion for the Lord and his ability to teach.  So it was no surprise at all when the church was looking to ordain an assistant pastor, that Jay was unanimously chosen by the congregation.

Our family has fun memories of staying on their farm several times when they went away.  They had goats that needed to be milked, and we learned how to do that!   Anthony often stayed at their house when we needed a babysitter.

Even after we no longer went to the same church, we still had the connection of Manheim Christian Day School.  I worked there part time when some of our kids were middle school age.  I found this old picture of my middle school chorus in 1987.  Looks like I had Lisa singing a solo on that song.  Jay and Elta's son Kirby is standing right next to her.

Both our families became very involved with foster care.  We usually had older kids, they had babies.  They ended up adopting two of those babies, Alyssa and Jordan.  When those two started attending Manheim Christian Day School we started seeing lots of each other again.  I was teaching music and had both of the kids from kindergarten through grade eight.  Jay and Elta volunteered endlessly for the school.  He was on the board in various capacities, and they both were majorly involved in heading up the annual benefit auction.  It seemed like they were always at school.  I don't know how they had time to get their other work done.

Here's Jay (on the right) with two others who headed up the benefit auction (our friend Jon Hawryluk and our nephew Richard Witmer.)  They and their wives were an amazing team.

This photo was taken at a staff/board breakfast.  Jay is on the far right.

Alyssa and Jordan were both on my middle school worship teams, Alyssa as a singer, Jordan with his trumpet.  (Alyssa is on the far left of the second row.)

Jordan is the tall guy on the right.

In addition, I had Alyssa as a piano student for several years, even on into high school.  She already knew how to play, but wanted to learn chording and improvisation.  We had such wonderful times together.  We loved the same songs, and she was so easy to work with.

She also became quite a comedic actress on the Baron Stage at Manheim Central High School.  I loved watching her.

When I directed joint-church Christmas musicals several years, Elta, Alyssa, and Jay participated.  Here's a picture of Jay with some of the other men.  (I wrote his name on his shoulder!)

We moved to State College in 2009.  A year later Kirby and his wife bought their farm, and Jay and Elta and the teenagers moved to a lovely country home nearby.  At about the same time it was discovered that Jay had a brain tumor.  On a few occasions I was able to have some heart-to-heart talks with Elta.

For most of his three-year battle Jay experienced amazing health.  Surgeries, treatments, and a dedication to a nutritious diet were together working tremendously well.  Until this past summer when it was determined that no more surgery could be done and treatments were no longer being effective.  That was very hard for us to hear.  And much, much harder for them to experience.

On Monday, July 1st, when Dick took a vacation day so that we could attend the fireworks at Longs Park in Lancaster the evening before, we went to Jay and Elta's home for a visit.  He was having a good day, and we had an absolutely precious time together.  Part of the time Elta took me on a tour of the house, and as she did, we cried and cried together.  

I have lost many girlfriends who died before their husbands.  So did my sister, and both of our mothers.   But this is the first time I've had a girlfriend who has lost her husband.  My heart was always broken for the guys who lost their wives.  But this feels harder, somehow, and I think of Elta so much of the time.  I guess I'm well aware that this could be me.  

I'm so glad we had the chance to be together that day.  As we prayed together before we left, I had a sinking feeling that it would be the last time we would see him here on earth.

On the day Jay died I was working at the church office when the song, "I Can Only Imagine" came on my Pandora station.  It made me wonder what it was like for Jay when he came face to face with Jesus that morning.  Here's what I posted on FB.

"Dear friend Jay, when you were surrounded by His glory this morning, I wonder what your heart felt.  Did you dance for Jesus, or were you, in awe of Him, still?  Did you stand in His presence, or to your knees did you fall?  Did you sing 'Hallelujah,' or were you able to speak at all?  We can only imagine.  But now you no longer need to."

Isn't that amazing to think about?  

And finally, I want to share these pictures from Alyssa's Facebook.  First of all, lovely Alyssa with Jay and Elta. 

Jay surrounded by son Kirby on the left, his wife Joanna behind him, son Jordan in back, and daughter Alyssa on the right with her boyfriend Marquis.  

Jay, you will be sorely missed.  Elta, may you find comfort for your aching soul and the strength to go on.  Kids, I pray you will find it to be true that He is Father to the fatherless.  And take good care of your sweet mamma.